Male Infertility???

yeah, it’s a thing!

 Male fertility has dropped 60% in the last 40 years. Sixty! Percent! And yet with all the medical advances that we have, there is a dearth of information about male fertility issues, which is a darn shame.

Studies show that in cases of infertility, about 1/3 are due to male dominant issues. I had a OBGYN say that there may be nore of a docus on women’s fertility because there are more things that can go wrong. But let’s see what needs to happen in order for a man to be successful.

(FYI, this post might get a bit TMI, so if you’re squeamish about words like sperm and testicles, then you should probably akip this post)

First, a man must produce healthy sperm.
Second, the sperm has to be carried into the semen.
Third, there needs to be a good concentration of sperm to semen (around 14-16 million per mL of semen is normal).
Fourth, the sperm has to be able to move.

Seems to me like there are a lot of things that can go wrong with that! Let’s look at just a few.

Physical abnormalities can cause trouble in creation and movement of sperm.

Issues with hormones can mess things up too.

Certain medicines have side effects that are detrimental (as we found out).

Environement and lifestyle also play an important role in male fertility.

Now, I am not a doctor. I’m not going to suggest fixes or cures for male infertility. Basically I’ve read a few articles and some studies. But having dealt firsthand with this, I will offer just a couple of suggestions.

FIND A DOCTOR who will acknowledge that male infertility is a POSSIBILITY and is very common! We were lucky that our fertility clinic has a male specialist on staff. However I remember our first brush with the possibility and that terrible urologist who didn’t bother to look at the numbers. If your doctor isn’t mentioning male issues, advocate for yourself. Being it up at your appointment.

It is also good to remember that it is likely your partner also really wants children. That’s why he’s going through this with you! And Godly men, who want to bring children into the world, it breaks their hearts when they can’t. I look at my sweet husband, who would be such a good dad, and it hirta that I can’t do anything to help him except be a good companion and wife. Assure him constantly that his physical inabilities don’t make him less of a man or less of a husband. Encourage him to be open woth his feelings!

And as always, TALK to other people about fertility!! Make opportunities for conversation and be as open and honest as you can.



Some Sources:
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2017/jul/25/sperm-counts-among-western-men-have-halved-in-last-40-years-study

https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/male-infertility/symptoms-causes/syc-20374773

Seeing a Fertility Specialist

much less scary than previously aniticipated

After my OBGYN recommended us to the fertility specialist, we still deliberated. For a few months, I was hopeful that we still could conceive naturally.

But on Feb 20, 2018 we made our way to UNC Fertility and our doctor.

He was very knowledgeable, open, and helpful. He spoke to us about hope and medicine. Let us know that there were options for us still! Did some more tests, and we finally had an updated diagnosis.

Male-Pattern Infertility

What?? Guys can be infertile too? His sperm levels were so low, under 3mil. consistently. This made me EVEN MORE angry at that urologist who told Myke that his levels were okay. I stewed a long time over this, if only he had taken more time to look at his levels, if only we had gone to a second doctor, if only, if only, the woodpecker sighs.

The diagnosis absolutely devastated Mykel. I'll write more about male infertility in another post.

But now we KNEW! Now we had a DIAGNOSIS! Now we had ANSWERS!

Next step was IUI- intra-uterine insemination. There's a lot of good information on the internet about IUI, so I'll just explain briefly. In IUI, the output is given from the man, washed and spun so the semen and sperm separate, and then the majority of the good sperm are put into a catheter. The catheter is put into the vagina, and the sperm injected into the uterus.

It's only slightly invasive. It really wasn't too bad. My journal entry on June 13th reads, "Today was a DAY. IUI done. Wow. Lots of emotions and feels. So thankful for my husband." I remember after the procedure was done, they asked me to stay lying down for about fifteen minutes, and I cried through all of it. All the emotions led up to this day, and it seemed almost anti-climactic?

We went home excited and hopeful. My MIL had a prayer and fasting chain for us, and I could DEFINITELY feel it.

But, later that month. Right on time. Auntie Flo came for her visit. Myke was so tender during this time. We were traveling overseas, and he made sure to show me a great time!

We scheduled another IUI for the next month. The clinic we went to won't do an infinite number, and we knew this. Myke went in the morning to give his sample, and when we went for insemination, the doc called us into his office. Hubs' levels were too low to really consider insem, the doc said. We could still do it, but the chances of implantation were no different from regular sex. They advised against it, and we took that option.

This happened twice. We had one failed IUI, and two unsuccessful attempts. We were not even able to do them. The far-away option suddenly seemed very prominent, hulking behind us, dark and scary and expensive.

In. Vitro. Fertilization.

The Beginning

or, how we realized our infertility

Please try to deal with my terrible, terrible writing. I am trying my best! Writing has never been my strong suit, but I am going to try to write down everything. So, let’s just jump right in.

look at those cute lil newlyweds. awww. 

We got married in June of 2014. We were both 22 years old and excited to begin our lives together. We knew at the outset that we didn’t want to have children right away. I wasn’t working, and Myke was still working on getting his undergraduate. It was understood that I would be the main breadwinner for a little while. We could barely afford to feed ourselves (hurray for Rice-a-Roni!), much less care for a tiny small one at the same time!


So we waited for a couple years, and deflected questions as to when we were gonna start having kids.

Then in February of 2016, we were in the temple, pondering a completely unrelated question, and as we were in the celestial room, I turned to Myke and said, “We should have a baby!” He looked surprised but was having the same prompting!

We went home and I printed out a three-month calendar (ha!) marked on it my projected periods and fertile dates, and we began our attempts! We thought at the time that it would be so easy. I have a letter from that time that I wrote to our future daughter. “I can’t wait to be your mama!”

But we waited. And waited. And waited.

Each month my period would come, each month would be more negative pregnancy tests.  I downloaded apps. I ordered ovulation predictor kits. I logged basal body temperature. After a while we started passing hoped-for due dates. That was the worst. “If we had gotten pregnant then, our tiny small one would be here now.”

And still, nothing.

After just over a year, I finally went to my doctor to ask what the heck? We were both young and (relatively) healthy, how were we not pregnant yet? She prescribed a few rounds of Clomid, a transvaginal ultrasound, and some bloodwork. Fairly standard.

But it still did not work!

So she asked Myke to get a semen analysis done. He went dutifully to the doctor and did what he had to do, and the urologist took one look at his numbers, said “These are a little low, but fine,” and shooed him out of his office. That made me so mad! Didn’t discuss the numbers with him or nothing. Just, “these are fine” and out he went.

Ruled out PCOS. Wasn’t endometriosis. Nor was it blocked tubes or lack of ovulation.

Current diagnosis: Unexplained Infertility. AUGH!

Cue more months of prayer. Of fasting. Of scream-crying at the Lord, asking, “When will it be MY turn?!” Each month brought a new pregnant friend, someone moving in to the ward with so many babies, baby showers and pregnancy announcements and invasive questions about our lack of children.

Then we moved across the country, and when I saw a OBGYN, she talked to me for about half an hour and then recommended we go and actually see a FERTILITY DOCTOR!!

...to be continued