The Beginning

or, how we realized our infertility

Please try to deal with my terrible, terrible writing. I am trying my best! Writing has never been my strong suit, but I am going to try to write down everything. So, let’s just jump right in.

look at those cute lil newlyweds. awww. 

We got married in June of 2014. We were both 22 years old and excited to begin our lives together. We knew at the outset that we didn’t want to have children right away. I wasn’t working, and Myke was still working on getting his undergraduate. It was understood that I would be the main breadwinner for a little while. We could barely afford to feed ourselves (hurray for Rice-a-Roni!), much less care for a tiny small one at the same time!


So we waited for a couple years, and deflected questions as to when we were gonna start having kids.

Then in February of 2016, we were in the temple, pondering a completely unrelated question, and as we were in the celestial room, I turned to Myke and said, “We should have a baby!” He looked surprised but was having the same prompting!

We went home and I printed out a three-month calendar (ha!) marked on it my projected periods and fertile dates, and we began our attempts! We thought at the time that it would be so easy. I have a letter from that time that I wrote to our future daughter. “I can’t wait to be your mama!”

But we waited. And waited. And waited.

Each month my period would come, each month would be more negative pregnancy tests.  I downloaded apps. I ordered ovulation predictor kits. I logged basal body temperature. After a while we started passing hoped-for due dates. That was the worst. “If we had gotten pregnant then, our tiny small one would be here now.”

And still, nothing.

After just over a year, I finally went to my doctor to ask what the heck? We were both young and (relatively) healthy, how were we not pregnant yet? She prescribed a few rounds of Clomid, a transvaginal ultrasound, and some bloodwork. Fairly standard.

But it still did not work!

So she asked Myke to get a semen analysis done. He went dutifully to the doctor and did what he had to do, and the urologist took one look at his numbers, said “These are a little low, but fine,” and shooed him out of his office. That made me so mad! Didn’t discuss the numbers with him or nothing. Just, “these are fine” and out he went.

Ruled out PCOS. Wasn’t endometriosis. Nor was it blocked tubes or lack of ovulation.

Current diagnosis: Unexplained Infertility. AUGH!

Cue more months of prayer. Of fasting. Of scream-crying at the Lord, asking, “When will it be MY turn?!” Each month brought a new pregnant friend, someone moving in to the ward with so many babies, baby showers and pregnancy announcements and invasive questions about our lack of children.

Then we moved across the country, and when I saw a OBGYN, she talked to me for about half an hour and then recommended we go and actually see a FERTILITY DOCTOR!!

...to be continued